Teaching Things We Don't Know
Structured Independence: The Tools to Thrive
We embrace an approach to child-rearing called structured independence—a philosophy that balances guidance with freedom, ensuring that children develop responsibility, confidence, and self-reliance in a safe, supportive environment. Structured independence is the idea that children should be given the space to:
- Make Choices
- Solve Problems
- Develop Self-Discipline
Instead of micromanaging every decision, we provide children with age-appropriate freedoms, all while having a reliable framework of guidance and support.
Allowing them to take ownership of their responsibilities and experience the natural consequences of their choices within a secure, communal setting.
How Children Benefit from Structured Independence
- Confidence & Self-Reliance – When children are trusted with responsibility, they develop a sense of competence that carries into adulthood. They learn to trust their own judgment, problem-solve, and take initiative.
- Stronger Social & Emotional Skills – Living in a communal environment teaches children how to navigate relationships, resolve conflicts, and collaborate with others—skills that are crucial for personal and professional success.
- A Healthier Perspective on Boundaries – Structured independence ensures that children earn their privacy and privileges at a pace that aligns with their maturity. They grow up understanding that freedom comes with responsibility, rather than expecting independence before they are ready to handle it.
- Preparation for Adulthood – Many young adults struggle with the sudden transition to independence. In communal living, children gradually step into adult responsibilities, ensuring they are prepared to manage their own lives successfully.
This approach recognizes that independence is not something suddenly granted at adulthood—it is built, step by step, from an early age.
Why Communal Living is Uniquely Suited for Structured Independence
Traditional parenting models often swing between overprotection and neglect, with children either micromanaged or left to fend for themselves. Communal living offers a balance—providing enough structure to guide development, but enough freedom to allow growth.
- A Village of Role Models – In a communal setting, children learn from multiple adults, not just their parents. They see different approaches to problem-solving, responsibility, and discipline, which helps them develop a well-rounded sense of independence
- Gradual Responsibility, Not Instant Adulthood – Communal living allows children to progress through increasing levels of autonomy, rather than being thrown into adulthood unprepared. From communal dorm-style lodging for young children to private quarters for teens, the structure naturally encourages independence without forcing it too soon.
- A Safety Net, Not a Crutch – Mistakes are part of learning. In a communal home, children can take risks, make choices, and face consequences while still having a strong support system to guide them through challenges.
We believe Autotomy is earned, not given. By providing structure and support while encouraging freedom and responsibility, we raise children who are not just prepared to enter the world—but thrive in it.
Accommodation, Responsibilities, and Privileges by Age Group
For ar least the first year, dependents reside in the room with the member who sponsors their add-on.
Basic necessities such as diapers, cereal, and formula
are kept stocked in the household pantry to ensure their needs are met.
Early Childhood (Ages 1-6)
- Dependents are eligible to transition to the communal setting after one year.
- Emotional regulation, boundaries, and clear communication are emphasized.
- Dependents under age 7 focus on developing foundational life skills under the supervision of an assigned caregiver.
- They participate in developmentally appropriate chores.
This includes:
- Picking up after themselves
- Making their bed
- Folding common-use towels and washcloth
- Simple cleaning tasks like dusting baseboards
- Until 7 they have the least autonomy
- Until 13 they have the least privacy
- Quarters are outfitted with bunk beds and share communal bathroom facilities.
Middle Childhood (Ages 7-12)
- Once children reach the age of 7, they assume a share of the group responsibilities set by the household.
This includes:
- Dinner dining room setup and cleanup
- Start dinner dishes in dishwasher
- Preparing and freezing bulk to-go items for dependent consumption
- Collecting and distributing communal laundry
- Domestic upkeep of the dependent living quarters
- This age group is not directly supervised
- They have group consequences and the autonomy of freewill
- Failure to participate effectively will result in loss of autonomy
Adolescence (Ages 13-17)
- At age 13, dependents transition to cubicle-style beds, fully enclosed sleeping loft
- Personal responsibilities in addition to the group responsibilities
This includes:
- Managing their own laundry
- Maintaining their personal space
- Staying accountable for their educational performance
- Contributing one weekend night per month to household childcare
Cubicle-Style Loft Bed 13+, Finding Camelot
Consequences and Accountability
- Group Consequences: When shared responsibilities are neglected, the group as a whole may experience restrictions
This includes:
- Temporary Wi-Fi denial
- Locked game consoles
- Assignment of seasonal upkeep tasks
.
- Personal Consequences: The consequences of neglecting individual responsibilities are natural—chores simply remain undone. This allows dependents to experience mild discomfort without causing lasting trauma, reinforcing the importance of accountability in a compassionate yet firm manner.
This system promotes structured independence, ensuring that
dependents learn accountability and cooperation
at a pace suited to their development while gradually earning more privacy and privileges as they demonstrate responsibility.
A Childhood Rooted in Community
At Finding Camelot, we believe every child deserves the benefits of growing up in a large, loving family—without the financial strain or exhaustion that often comes with it. Our communal living model provides a built-in village where children thrive in a socially rich, supportive environment, while parents share responsibilities and regain balance in their lives.
1. A Built-In Social Network
Children naturally learn through interaction. In a communal setting, they develop key social skills—cooperation, empathy, and responsibility—by growing up alongside peers. Unlike traditional households, where kids may only have their parents and siblings for daily interaction, communal living surrounds them with a diverse range of role models and friendships.
2. More Guidance, More Care
Raising children takes time and energy, and no single parent can do it all alone. In a communal home, kids benefit from multiple trusted adults who provide guidance, supervision, and mentorship. This means they receive more attention, not less, while parents gain the peace of mind that comes from knowing they are never alone in meeting their children’s needs.
3. Freedom to Grow, Stability to Rely On
Our communal structure balances independence with support. Children experience the security of knowing they always have a place within the community, while also learning age-appropriate responsibility. Younger children have constant supervision, while older kids gain increasing independence, preparing them for adulthood in a way that fosters confidence rather than fear.
4. A Childhood Without the Stress of Adult Burdens
In today’s world, financial stress often trickles down to children, shaping their sense of stability and security. Communal living removes that weight, ensuring that every child grows up in an environment where basic needs are met, resources are shared, and life’s uncertainties don’t disrupt their sense of home.
At Finding Camelot, we’re redefining what it means to raise a family—creating a space where children don’t just grow up, but truly thrive.
